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Mullet mystery, madness remains

Bringing something back into fashion from a yesteryear can be called going “retro.” But there are some things that should stay in the decade where they died the first time. Example? The mullet.

I’ve been noticing more lately the apparent increased popularity of the part shorn, part long and permed hairdo among teenage boys and young men. To be honest, I don’t get the draw to this cringe-inducing style. I mean, it would seem since you’ve gone through the trouble of getting part of your hair cut and kept high and tight, why not take off the rest as long as you’re in the barber chair?

When my 15-year-old male cousin sat next to me at the Christmas dinner table, I took the opportunity to ask him about his own mane that draped over the nape of his neck, trying to gain an understanding behind the craze. He explained with a sly smile, like there was something more, an insider joke, “Business in the front, party in the back,” then ran his hands along the lesser hairs on the sides of his head for emphasis.

No, I thought. This hairstyle is not a party. There’s a reason it went out of style three decades ago.

Two of my female cousins are dating young men who currently have or in the recent past have rocked a mullet and are now in the process of growing one out again. As I was asking one of these cousins about the issue, she said, “some people can rock it and some can’t.” I guess I can’t tell the difference between who is capable of rocking it and who isn’t.

Keep in mind, this is all just my opinion. I don’t mean to offend anyone so if you want to wear a mullet then I guess, you may continue to “rock on,” even if I personally consider it an assault on my eyes.

I’ve ranted often enough about this topic that even my co-workers have teased me when they see a picture of something in the paper that contains a high schooler endeavoring to “rock” the style. All I know is following one of my local rants about what I perceive as the madness of mullets, my boyfriend jokingly told me he might try growing one out.

At least, I hope he was joking.

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